This is a story of a performance that I will never forget.

I was nineteen years old, and on a road trip with my at-the-time girlfriend and her family. We were heading to a family reunion of theirs that they hold every 5 years. It was sort of a big deal that she brought me along, it would mean I could meet every single family member. At that point in our relationship, we had been dating for a few years already, so they figured I was serious enough of a boyfriend to come along. In the middle of our 7 hour road trip, we stopped at her cousin’s house to spend the night. When we eventually pulled up, we were greeted warmly by the 5 member family. A husband and wife, with 3 children of all different ages. Despite being a stranger to them, they welcomed me into their home without any hesitation.

When I got into the house, I could see into the kitchen and the back garden. I was told we were going to have a barbeque outside for dinner. As we were walking through the kitchen talking, I noticed a deck of cards on the windowsill in front of the sink. I tried not to overtly look at it or pay any attention to it. Though I was aware people in her family were told in advance that I did magic, and I knew there was a big expectation for me to perform. As people went outside and started mingling, I snatched the cased deck and pocketed it. I made sure no one saw, and was confident that no one would notice that it was gone.

Some minutes went by, and I excused myself to the bathroom. I sat on the porcelain throne and began to stack the deck. I knew exactly what I wanted to do with it. I started placing it in my memorized stack. No, I wasn’t actually shitting while doing this. Once I was finished, I left the washroom and planted the stacked deck back atop the windowsill when no one was looking.

We had a pleasant dinner on their luxurious patio. I had to admit, it was hard to be present. I was so giddy and excited that I had a miracle all set up and ready to go. I knew if I was fixated on my little ruse, it’d detract from my experience of meeting my ex-girlfriend’s lovely family. I tried to forget about it and get lost in conversation. Eventually the nippy summer night ushered us back inside, where we sat around the kitchen table. It was there I was asked to perform. I asked if there was a deck of cards I could borrow, without seeming facetious. The father of the family said there was one upstairs he could go get. My heart sank.

“No Dad, there’s one in the kitchen… it’s over there!” The middle child chirped up, pointing at the windowsill. I think I wanted to kiss him at that moment. The deck was brought over and placed in front of me. I made a massive, over-exaggerated point of not touching it. I asked someone in the family to name a playing card. I don’t remember who said it, but someone spat out “Nine of Hearts!” (yes, that was literally the card, I remember to this day).

At the time, I had a special but organic tool to force a number from 1-52. I won’t say what it is now, but I utilized that (seemingly) propless tool and got the number 17. The position that the Nine of Hearts was at. I started to ham up this moment as much as I could, and instructed that the cards be taken out of the deck, and be dealt one at a time face up.

Several cards away from unveiling the Berglas Effect, the middle child has a massive seizure. He dropped to the floor, and had unnervingly long spasms and convulsions. His body jerked violently on the floor and spit dribbled from his mouth in ready streams. There were screams and tears. Pillows and sweaters were thrown around his head to shield it from the wall and table. It eventually finished. It was probably 3-4 minutes but it felt more like 30 or 40. His mother said it hadn’t happened for 5 years. They thought his seizures went away. They were on the phone with a medical professional for several hours after. It goes without saying but I’ll say it, the performance did not continue afterwards.

Don’t worry, he was completely fine and healthy afterwards. The next day we had a fantastic breakfast (incredible waffles made with egg whites with an assortment of toppings), and got back on the road after that.

I don’t know what the moral of this story is. Maybe it was a sign to fucking stop doing Any Card at any Number.