I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: Two vast and trunkless legs of stone
Stand in the desart. [sic (but if you actually needed this bracketed Latin adverb for clarity on the meaning of a 18th (and early 19th apparently) century spelling you are an uncultured heathen.)] Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed:
And on the pedestal these words appear:
“My name is Smith, Webmaster of The Magic Oval:
Look on my works, ye [Justin] Miller, and despair!”
No thing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.

Our webmaster in the shadows has served faithfully for over a year now. (Technically over two, but I don’t acknowledge website anniversaries that I wasn’t around for. Sorry.)

But, it is time for a change. Unfortunately, upon his internal announcement of his resignation at the end of the year, I realized that we had nobody that was technically minded enough to replace him! I panicked and spiraled for roughly nine months. This is why I went to the brothel I was too ashamed to admit to directly in Bits and Bobs #2: The SUMS Out.

Apparently I forgot about some new hire called Franklin in my panic though, so that’s good. Plus, he even lives in the same country as me, so he won’t have to switch continents to drag me back to the desk like the old one.

Anyway, he’s going to be the webmaster now. The old one has gone unnamed and unappreciated long enough, and as was always the plan will have the option of revealing his identity now if he so wishes; as will almost any employees that depart with one exception, that of course being myself. And my alternate persona, which if you haven’t figured that bit out yet you clearly haven’t been a careful reader or been reading for very long.

So then, what else…

Oh yeah, I hear we revolutionized anagram technology the other month but nobody noticed because that fucking scumbag Jerry never did his fair share for the announcement. To be honest, he followed me back to the brothel after noticing that post and having the opportunity of my return to introduce Anagram August (in the hopes he would see it through to completion earlier than October) which allowed him to begin his trailing, and I only noticed him (and immediately shipped him back to the Oval compound) in like November.

Not to worry, we have other revolutionary things coming, like truly and comprehensively solving the problem of the perfect book test so we can upstage that damn upstart Brian Brushwood (whom we absolutely are not collaborating with on anything) at long last.

But all of that comes later.

For now…

Happy Motherfuckin’ 2026!

To better posts, products, and magic ahead.

P.S. And no more typos anymore. Believe me, they annoyed me more than they did you. I just couldn’t log in from the brothel wifi to fix anything or they’d know what my career was and blackmail me and my precious anonymity could be shattered.

P.P.S. In which event the blog would have to shut down, as it relies on my anonymity and/or pseudonymity.

P.P.P.S. Not because I’m a sex offender. Look, even legal and monitored sex work isn’t something one should approach lightly and the brothel thing was a gag. Obviously. (By which I mean a gag was involved.)

P.P.P.P.S. I’m not gonna tell you.

P.P.P.P.P.S. But basically it’s just because if people were able to see that my uncle was a certain high profile financier that killed himself in prison, it could compromise my integrity as the Editor. Something like that. Everyone is shouting something about this last line at me but I can’t hear them over the party music at the compound, so here goes!

Adiós y vámonos, O posteos!